Intention: Patience

Patient. Adjective or Noun. Is one patient or is one a patient?

The etymology of the present form of 'patient' comes from the Latin word 'patiens' : suffering, enduring, allowing, acquiescing, submitting and long suffering.

*Good things come to those who wait*

*Patience is a virtue*

"Genius is eternal patience." Michelangelo. Think about it for a moment. Patience and suffering go hand in hand, although at first impression we would separate the two without much thought. They are the dichotomy that exists in this journey that I have stumbled upon, much to my chagrin, but also to my illuminated acknowledgement.

I ask for patience every day. I ask for the suffering, in other words. I ask for the opportunity to have life mirror itself in front of me so that I may have the strength to face all that comes my way. And it does, in full force (as it always does-thank you, dear life!) with out remorse.

The  issuance of life, it's forbearance, and the attached gravity provided has been more than enough to crumble this spirit of mine.

Raising children after a broken marriage, holding steadfast to a self-reassurance mantra, employment, chores, bills and the ensuing myriad of tasks that fall into the cracks of time that was my daily life--I didn't really think of patience, I simply functioned.

But, life is changing. My children are getting older, and there is much to do to propel them forth into their lives. And I find my angst making it's presence known. It screams at me to hurry up. It asks why I don't have any help; why I don't accept help easily, and it demands my attention regularly.

So, I ask for patience. And over these past weeks, I have learned that most of all--I need to be patient with myself; suffering with myself. And I ask do I really need to?

My expectations are all wrapped up in the suffering, and hence the patience I ask for. I create that angst within myself.

This understanding, this new perception of patience, suffering and my intention has come full circle. I need not ask for patience, or suffering for that matter, I have both. What I ask for is immutable LOVE. It encompasses all the strength, durability and courage I need as I head further into this wonderful journey.